Guide to overcoming depression – the deep black hole

miha matlievski fail coach depression

Depression is almost always accompanied with failure, let it be business, personal or mix of both. You don’t want to get up from bed, I know. Why would you? You just want to give up and stay here. The truth of this is that depression, as a very serious condition, cannot be taken lightly. It basically creates a black hole around us in which it’s hard to see clearly.

Nevertheless, there are times when the sun comes up and you get to catch only a little glimpse of how this could all be better. There it is. That’s your way out. Hold on to that and don’t let go.

A Ray of Light. It can be anything, like a tender memory or a dream for the future. It can be a beautiful sentence, a prayer or the kind words you hear from the people you love. It can be your dog, your relationships, your family or your friends.

But most important, it’s always about you because you deserve to be saved. And the best person to save you and fight for you is the one who has to love you more than anyone else: yourself.

Did you know that people with higher creativity are more likely to suffer from anxiety, depression or bipolar disorder because they are more likely to feel alone with their ideas? (For more interesting facts, I suggest visiting: psych2go.me)

We only have one try …

… Because we only have one life. That’s an undeniable fact. What we do while living it is up to us and, in the end, it will not matter what anyone else thinks of it. What really counts is how you look at it and accept everything in your life, whenever & wherever.

There’s a moving story about this in the movie Before Midnight when Celine, Julie Delpy’s character, is talking about an old friend of hers who years before found out he had nine months left to live. And the first thing he felt when he received the news was relief. You see, all his life he had been worrying about money and now he only needed enough of it to live for nine months, which he did. So his problems were gone. He was finally able to get the life he had always wanted, a life for himself.

When you wake up in the morning or when you are trying to carry on with your everyday life as normal as possible, you may find yourself asking what is the point of it all? Let me tell you something: there actually isn’t any.

We are all here in the same little world working our best way through it basically because our time here is counted.

There will never be another moment like this one, right here. We will never be the same people we are now. And to make the choice to never feel the way you feel now is nothing else than accepting whatever is to come.

There is no other choice than getting up!

You can physically get up because you have to. You can emotionally pick yourself up because you have the power to love yourself and not to use it would be a waste.

The first step is the hardest, but it doesn’t have to be the biggest.

Focus on the cup of tea (or coffee, or water, or I don’t know…a pencil?) right in front of you. Take deep breaths of fresh air as often as you can. Cherish the fact that the best things in life are free.

“Of course motivation is not permanent. But then, neither is bathing; but it is something you should do on a regular basis.” 

Zig Ziglar, Raising Positive Kids in a Negative World

“HELP! I need somebody!”

In case of depression ask for help

To ask for help will be one of the bravest things you’ll do. Remember that ray of light I said would be your way out? This is when it comes in handy. Again, you decide which help you need: support in a relationship, therapy, a life-coach, etc.

Never pretend. Remember it’s okay not to be okay and you wouldn’t have to show false emotions. If we all acted like we are fine all the time, we would be robots. Allow yourself to be human.

You may hear things like “why are you even depressed?” or “you have nothing to be sad about, other have it much worse”. Always, always, always remember that nothing can invalidate your feelings simply because no one can really know how you feel. So, as soon as you hear something like that, don’t pay attention to it and just let it slip away.

Depression is an important matter that’s affecting many people today and the numbers are getting bigger:

The number of patients diagnosed with depression increases by approximately 20% per year.

Find out more depression statistics here.

If you have depression or know someone affected by it, you are welcome to ask me for any advice. That’s why I’m here. Or want to read more advices from an experienced Fail Coach? Then browse through our category “Life Coaching” and take a day off, because you’ll find plenty of interesting reading material.

About the Author Miha Matlievski

Breaking taboo called FAILURE by talking openly about it, sharing my fail stories and lessons that I learned on my way back from hell. I had four successful companies that at one time all went bankrupt. You could say that I went from hero to zero. But I managed to survive! Down that road I became Fail Coach not by degree but by failing personally and professionally, learning from my failures and growing. If you are looking for a coach try not to find one with shiny diploma hanging on his wall but one that has personally gone to hell and back.

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